


Feeling The Same Way All Over Again

by renaissancefleabag



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Feel-good, Fluff and Angst, Lilith Has A Crush, Post-part 2, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissancefleabag/pseuds/renaissancefleabag
Summary: "Lilith leaned her head back against the wall, blushing. With her eyes squeezed shut, she brought a hand up to her chest to clutch at her rapidly beating heart. She’d noticed it got harder to breathe when Zelda was around."Lilith starts to fall in love with Zelda, and like a moth drawn to a flame, she can't stay away.





	Feeling The Same Way All Over Again

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with the idea for this oneshot while talking with killyourstarlings. We like to bounce headcanons off of each other a lot, and after I brought the idea of this up, I felt the need to write it. Enjoy!

Lilith had always admired Zelda Spellman. She was a strong leader, fiercely protective of her family, and didn’t take any bullshit from anyone. She had been through a lot, they all had. Lilith found her strength inspiring. Especially now, as Zelda took on the role of high priestess of the Church of Lilith. She remembered the first few times she met Zelda, how she had found it fun to mess with her, before everything had happened. She played Mary Wardwell as very demure and curious, showing up to the Spellman house on several occasions. She didn’t think Zelda bought it for one second at all, but she kept up with the act anyways, for hers and Lucifer’s sake. That was before she came to her senses, and saw the truth of his centuries-long abuse targeted at her. Now she was in a much better place in her life. She was a deity, a thing to be worshipped. She was the Queen of Hell, something she had longed for what felt like her entire life. Once her longing for the Satanic crown was fulfilled, though, she began to long for other things. 

At first it was just simple kindness directed at her from Zelda. She had never had anyone actually apologize to her before. Zelda ended up pulling her aside one day, over church planning, and told her that she was sorry that she doubted her in the past, and vilified her without knowing who she truly was. Lilith of course was more than forgiving. She watched as the auburn-haired witch nervously wrung her hands together, red-tipped fingers itching for a cigarette.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Zelda. It’s okay, really. You didn’t know who I was. How could you know?”

“But Lucifer basically kept you as his slave, he did terrible things to you I’m sure. And I was so ready to just damn you. It was terribly disrespectful of me, and I am sorry.” 

Lilith gulped. Thoughts of Lucifer still haunted her on a daily basis. She still woke up fearful in the middle of the night (when she was able to fall asleep), sweating and scared that he would be there at the foot of her bed. She was _terrified_ of him, even with him gone. In Hell, she was more at ease—but when she came above ground to Greendale, she was a nervous wreck. Every time a crow cawed outside, or something rustled in the bushes at night, she was jumping, constantly looking over her shoulder, and sleeping with good luck charms under her pillow. She didn’t like to think of her past life, the time she spent so foolishly following Lucifer’s will, giving so much and getting nothing but pain in return. 

She didn’t realize that she was crying until she felt Zelda’s hand on her shoulder. She jolted upright, suddenly wiping the tears from her face and making up an excuse about having to get back to Hell. As Lilith ran through the forest and eventually transferred herself back to the mines, she held the image of Zelda’s face in her mind. She had actually looked _concerned? No, no, it couldn’t be. I can’t get my hopes up again. Not when I am a thing to be worshipped, that is all._

Back in Hell, Lilith lay awake in her bed, warmed by flames. Her room had a red glow to it, and she looked around at her bed, skulls affixed to each of the posts. She let her eyes shut again, memories of Lucifer coming back to her. She hated the design of her royal residence, but it would have to work for now. Everything still had Lucifer’s touch, some small bit of his influence. She tried to change things as much as she could, when she wasn’t attending to assigning new jobs and positions in Hell, or with the Spellmans above ground. _The Spellmans_ . Lilith opened her eyes to stare at the black marble ceiling, giving up on sleep. Zelda’s smiling face flashed before her eyes, and Lilith recalled the moment Zelda reached out to comfort her, hand pale against the dark red of her dress. Her skin still tingled where Zelda squeezed her shoulder. It felt _good_ , to have someone be gentle with her, to show that they cared. Lilith turned onto her side and sighed. 

_Why do I feel so strange when I think about her?_

Lilith felt a persistent fluttering sensation in her chest, and tried to direct her thoughts elsewhere. She started to mentally count backwards from 1,000,000, in one of the ancient languages she knew. 

_Maybe this will help me fall asleep…_

She was still wide awake by the time she reached 500,000, and she really _really_ just wanted to go to sleep. Zelda’s face materialized in her mind’s eye once more, and she replayed the sound of her voice when she apologized to her. The soft, raspy timbre as she spoke to her.

_“Lilith? Lilith are you okay?”_

The gentle hand on her shoulder, the unassuming kindness. Lilith felt tears return to her eyes as she buried her face in her pillow.

_Why do I feel like this? What is happening?_

Lilith muffled her sobs, careful not to wake her guards outside of the room. The last thing she needed was to have them rushing in, searching her room for threats in the middle of her moment of vulnerability. With a mournful sigh, Lilith flipped over again, and tried to sleep. She didn’t have much luck, but eventually she drifted off, the image of Zelda Spellman’s smile burned behind her eyelids. 

* * *

Maybe she was being too obvious. 

Lilith had started to spend some more time above ground, as she had come to enjoy the fresh air, and the sight of the sky. When in Hell, there was just the omnipresent smell of brimstone, sulfur, and death. It was like the earth was belching constantly, and you were caught in its hot breath. Lilith naturally ran cool, but had gotten used to the warmth of Hell. After being there for so long, serving Him, she could take the heat, albeit stifling at times. The transition to life above ground was startling at first, but the more time she spent in Mary Wardwell’s skin, the more she liked it. She liked feeling the cool breeze, and having to put a coat on. She loved feeling goosebumps rise up on her arms. It reminded her that she was alive, and if she pretended, just a normal witch. The goosebumps were a relatively new thing, as was the reaction of her body in general to being cold. Her nipples stiffened, and she clenched her stomach, shivering as she watched her breath in the air. The only other time she noticed a similar reaction was when she was in the same room as Zelda. 

She started to listen in on the worship services for her new church. Well, technically she just stood in the back of the room, hid around the corner or in the shadows. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of Zelda. She didn’t know _why_ , but she just loved watching her high priestess. The way Zelda’s ceremonial robes lay across her pale skin, the sleeves exposing more of a forearm any time she lifted her hands up. Lilith stared, drinking her fill of Zelda, her voice calming her. She peeked around the corner once more before whipping her head out of sight when Zelda looked in her general direction. Lilith leaned her head back against the wall, blushing. With her eyes squeezed shut, she brought a hand up to her chest to clutch at her rapidly beating heart. She’d noticed it got harder to breathe when Zelda was around. She wanted to be in the same room as Zelda, no doubt about it, but her body would act strange whenever Zelda was present. 

Lilith kept visiting the church services incognito, still wanting to watch Zelda in action. It had become a sort of a thrill for her, the way her heart sped up, the sound of blood rushing in her ears. She was addicted to the feeling, and didn’t want it to end. Of course she had a few close calls, where younger coven members or a rogue familiar threatened to expose her. She kept up with sneaking into weekly service, before deciding that only seeing Zelda once or twice a week wasn’t enough. Then, in a way, Zelda answered Lilith’s unspoken prayers. She called Lilith one afternoon on a special mirror Lilith gave her, a direct line to hers in Hell. Lilith was sitting alone, sipping at a glass of wine, legs up over the armrest of her chair. She heard Zelda’s voice calling her name, and she looked around, dropping her wine as she scrambled to the mirror in her bedroom. She walked up to the ornate standing mirror and felt herself smile as she saw Zelda. She appeared to be sitting in her office at the Academy, small mirror in hand. Lilith could see the dark circles just showing through beneath the healthy layer of makeup Zelda wore. 

_She is working too hard._

“Lilith. How are things in Hell?”

Lilith focused her eyes back on Zelda’s and felt a flutter in her belly.

“They are as well as they can be, I suppose. The usual politics, meddlesome inhabitants, sending demons and lower deities on assignments around the world and into other dimensions and what not—you know, normal Hell stuff.”

She missed Zelda’s eyes on her, as she was too busy biting at the corner of her thumb while she studied her bare feet against the warm stone floor. 

“Well you look good. Hell is treating you well.” 

Lilith blushed profusely, and her stomach flipped, like she was falling. 

“Thank you.” 

She looked up at Zelda from beneath a curtain of dark curls and nearly stopped breathing as she saw Zelda watching her with a pleasant look in her eyes. 

“Lilith, the reason I called...I was wondering if you’d be available to come sit in for a few days in one of my classes at the Academy. We are talking about famous witches who are the pillars of our faith. Your name came up...and I know you don’t enjoy public speaking or things like that, but it would mean a lot to the children if you came...and to me.”

“Of course I’ll come!” 

“Good. I figured it would be good for the students to hear your story directly from you versus someone else.”

Lilith smiled, loving the fact that Zelda was giving her a chance to be heard. It felt good to have someone consider her side, her point of view for once. It was a new and refreshing feeling. 

“When do you want me to come?” Lilith asked, a hopeful tone in her voice.

“This Monday.” 

“Which is…? Sorry, it gets a bit confusing down here. The days all seem to run together.” Lilith grinned sheepishly, embarrassed.

“In three days. You can just meet me at the house first thing in the morning, and we can go from there.”

“Perfect.” Lilith looked down again, considering her outfit.

“Uh, I think I had better find some more school-friendly clothing first.” 

The front of her black dress plunged dramatically, the split ending near her navel.

“I can’t walk into a school looking like this! And I don’t have anything leftover from Mary, just the dress I wore when I first came to Hell…”

Lilith trailed off, trying to think of what she could wear. Zelda watched her fret, and spoke up.

“Come to the house tomorrow. We can take you to get some things—you know, so you can blend in while up here with the mortals. And you can have some things to wear when we have feasts and celebrations.”

“Zelda I don’t know.”

“Come on, it will be fun! Besides we’re friends now, aren’t we? I haven’t filled you in on church happenings in quite some time.”

Lilith didn’t feel like she deserved this kindness from Zelda. She didn’t want to say no—couldn’t say no, but she still felt guilty saying yes; however, so _did_ want Zelda to be happy.

“Oh alright.” 

“Perfect. Meet me at the house tomorrow afternoon at one.”

”One o’clock. Got it.”

“See you then.” 

Lilith barely waved bye before Zelda had ended the call.. 

* * *

The next day, Lilith found herself outside of the Spellman house, wearing the dress they last saw her in. She raised her hand to knock at the door, and Zelda opened it. 

“I saw you walking back and forth outside.” Zelda stepped aside, holding the door open wide. “Come in, make yourself at home.”

Lilith walked in, feeling a sense of familiarity wash over her as she entered the house she had been in so many times before. She admired the Spellmans, their dedication and love for each other. She really had not had any examples of dedication and support in her life before, and it was nice to see people who supported each other. 

“I’m just going to grab my purse. I’ll be right back.” 

Zelda disappeared up the stairs, and Lilith wandered into the kitchen. She looked around at all of the jars filled with various seasonings and spices, the dishes drying on the dish rack, the potted plants near the window. She missed this, missed everyday normalcy. She missed being able to look out the window and watch butterflies go by, walking barefoot in the grass and feeling it cool under her feet, the taste of fresh-picked fruit, the juice running down her chin, the warmth of the sunlight on her skin. The mortal world was nothing like the garden, but sometimes, sometimes there were moments where she just forgot all of her troubles and was taken back to when things were perfect. 

“Lilith?”

Zelda called out from the other room. Lilith straightened her shoulders and walked back out into the family room, ready to go. They drove along down the road, through the trees.

“So, where exactly are we going?”

Lilith wasn’t used to sitting in a car with a seat belt. She wasn’t even used to riding in cars at all. She kept herself from wincing every time they turned a corner, or when a car was driving towards them, on the opposite side of the road. Lilith instead tried to distract herself by asking Zelda questions about this and that, anything to take her mind off of how fast they seemed to be going.

“I’m taking you to one of my favorite stores in town. It’s my treat. I can’t have my queen wanting for something as simple as clothing.”

Lilith closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest, her stomach doing the flipping again, heart fluttering.

_Why does that always happen when Zelda is around?_

Zelda had ushered Lilith into the store with her hand in the crook of Lilith’s elbow. The demoness was a bit frazzled by all of the mortal passersby who stared at her as they walked past. Mortal teenagers were one thing—she could handle the immaturity of the students at Baxter High, but being around other mortal adults was different. Especially adults who could catch onto the fact that she wasn’t “normal” like the rest of them. She was a bit overdressed for the everyday look of Greendale. Zelda placed a comforting hand at the base of Lilith’s back as they entered the store. She explained to a worker that she was looking for a few outfits for her “friend who had just moved to Greendale from out of town.” The worker, Jenni, smiled at Lilith, and asked her where she was from. Blue eyes grew wide, and she gaped like a fish for a few seconds before Zelda came to her rescue.

“She’s been all over...travelling, right Lilith?” Lilith nodded mutely in response. “She is just a little tired today, that’s all.”

Jenni took Lilith’s measurements, and went around the store picking up random clothing items after Zelda explained the types of outfits she was looking for. Lilith simply stood still, dizzily watching as the attendant flitted back and forth across the store, the stack of clothes growing larger by the minute. Zelda just stood next to Lilith and watched, purse and coat still on. Finally, Jenni took the huge pile of clothes and hung up everything in a dressing room. Lilith looked back to where the woman had disappeared to, and saw that there were several compartments that looked like the public restrooms at Baxter High, only they had nice, plush carpeting, and there were long fancy curtains that hung in front of each compartment instead of a door. There was a large floor to ceiling mirror that was at the end of the small hallway, and there was a small plush ottoman on either side of the mirror. 

“Come on Lilith.” Zelda gently tugged the demoness in the direction of the fitting rooms, and Jenni gave Lilith a brief rundown of which pieces went with what. It was all a lot to take in, but Lilith tried her best. The attendant left Zelda and Lilith alone, so Lilith could try on the clothes in peace. Anyone walking by would have seen how on edge she was. Zelda was patient and calm with her, and told her to take her time. Lilith tried on the first couple of outfits, but didn’t like them. Zelda reassured her that it was okay, that they would keep going until they found something she liked. She came across a black, sleeveless romper, that had long pants instead of shorts on the bottom. The material was light and airy, and Lilith felt very comfortable. She looked at herself in the mirror, and let out a small giggle before covering her mouth. Zelda looked at her up and down, and stood up from the bench where she sat. She moved to stand behind Lilith, and looked at her in the mirror.

“Do you like it?”

Lilith nodded, eyes gleaming. She turned slightly and looked over her shoulder at the ties in the back, where she had made a bow. She smoothed her hands over her waist and down her thighs. She loved the way the fabric cinched, displaying her curves perfectly. The flared cuffs of the pants, the buttons up the front. She felt, she felt…Zelda gently gripped her shoulders from behind and leaned forward so her mouth was near Lilith’s ear. 

“You look beautiful, Lilith. I think it is worth buying. Definitely worth it if you like it.”

Lilith blushed, her chest going all blotchy, and she started to feel funny again. Her heart rate increased, and she felt the familiar falling feeling, her stomach flipping.

“I think I want this one.”

“Good. I’ll start a pile of the things you want to keep.” 

They found several more outfits that she liked, some sundresses, some capris and blouses, as well as two formal dresses, in case she attended a church-related party. Zelda also placed several pairs of shoes with her selections, some flats, a pair of sneakers, and a new pair of heels. Lilith stood in front of the mirror in the final selection. It was a silky red dress that had long sleeves, the skirt of the dress down to the floor, a cutout displaying Lilith’s freckled back. Zelda was up again, rearranging Lilith’s hair over her shoulder after zipping up the zipper of the dress. Her hand accidentally dragged across Lilith’s bare skin, and she shuddered under the touch.

“There you go. Now take a look at yourself.” 

Lilith looked up at herself in the mirror, tears instantly flooding her eyes.

“Wow Lilith. You are absolutely stunning. I think you should also get this one. It is my favorite.”

Lilith kept looking at herself and then over at the pile of clothes she was going to keep, and then met Zelda’s eyes in the mirror before tearing her gaze away, trying to hold back tears. She closed her eyes, and Zelda was there, close again, a hand on her lower back, concern in her voice. A few tears started to slip out, and Lilith cried, silently. 

_Zelda is being too nice to me. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. How will I ever repay her kindness?_

“Lilith? Do you not like the dress? We don’t have to get it if you don’t want it.” Lilith didn’t answer, she couldn’t, and just kept sniffling. Her emotions rose, and she let out little gasping sobs.

Zelda rubbed her lower back again, and pulled her in for a hug. Lilith sank into Zelda’s touch head coming to rest on Zelda’s padded shoulder. It felt _so_ good to be wrapped up in her arms, even if she knew the only reason Zelda was hugging her was because she was crying. Lilith lifted her head up and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, face still slightly screwed up as she tried to regain her composure.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be like this. It’s just, no one has ever done anything this nice for me —before. Ever.”

“You’re fine, Lilith. Besides, I figured it was the least I could do after you helped us out with Luci—I mean Him. Our family is forever indebted to you, and we will always be the Church of Lilith.”

Lilith nearly started crying again as she went back into the dressing room to put her clothes back on, Zelda’s words echoing in her brain. 

_I probably just need some more rest or something. Maybe a nap will do me some good._

She usually didn’t cry with an audience. No, Lilith was used to keeping her feelings to herself, her mind yelling but her mouth shut. She had learned about expressing her emotions the hard way. Now that she finally was able to live freely, without having to worry about Lucifer showing up to pull the rug out from under her. Lilith kept quiet as Zelda drove them back to the house, embarrassed by her display in the store. When they got back to the house Zelda helped Lilith carry all of her bags inside the house and sat them down near the base of the stairs.

“You know, Lilith, you can stay over here during the week—if you like, that is. I know going back and forth between Hell and here can be a bit of a hassle. If you stayed here, it would be easier for us to just leave together for the Academy in the mornings. Let me know.”

Lilith nodded, unsure of what to do next. Zelda went upstairs to freshen up, leaving Lilith standing at the bottom of the staircase. She could smell something delicious coming from the general direction of the kitchen. Her mouth watered, and she realized that it had been quite some time since she had a nice, home-cooked meal. Probably the last time she had one was _oh! I haven’t had a full meal since I was last here, having lunch with the Spellmans and their coven and Academy members._

Lilith didn’t _need_ to eat regularly. She of course just used magic to do away with her hunger pains, or mostly forgot and just hastily ate a small bit of something. But while she was above ground, she had become quite a fan of Hilda’s cooking. The youngest Spellman never let anyone leave her house hungry, and Lilith admired her for that.

Lilith’s stomach grumbled and she faltered a bit, not sure if she was invited to stay for dinner. No one had told her anything, and she started to feel out of place, anxiety settling in. She was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, bags of her purchases at her feet when Zelda descended the staircase.

“Get comfortable.” Zelda got to the bottom of the stairs and linked her arm through Lilith’s. “Let’s go and see what Hilda has cooked up. It smells scrumptious.” Lilith followed behind Zelda, her arm tingling where their skin made contact. Zelda sat her down in a chair and Hilda, still wearing her apron and oven mitts, immediately ran over to greet her with a hug. 

“Tell me all about Hell! How is it? What are the people like—er demons—well people too? What are they like? Tell me _everything_!”

While they caught up, Zelda made Lilith a plate. She sat the steaming plate down in front of Lilith, and went back to get some food for herself. Hilda kept chattering along happily, asking questions about Hell. Lilith was only half-listening, though. When looked down and saw the steaming roast, she was immediately taken back to Mary Wardwell’s house. and _Adam_. Lilith felt the guilt and shame rise inside of her, and bile burned her throat. 

_It’s my fault he’s dead...I couldn’t even be near an innocent without them having to suffer, having to pay for my foolish mistakes._

Lilith haphazardly pushed her chair back from the table, hyperventilating as she fled the room. Hilda and Zelda both stopped what they were doing and looked at each other in shock. Zelda frowned, concerned as she followed Lilith’s trail. Lilith had run outside and was panting near the bottom of the stairs. Zelda pushed open the still ajar front door and walked out onto the porch. She saw Lilith wiping her mouth, and spitting into the bushes.

“Not a fan of pot roast?”

Zelda watched Lilith pale, her shoulders clenched upwards in a spasm, as she was nearly sick again. Lilith closed her eyes, and held up one finger to Zelda, trying to gather herself. 

“Do you want me to take you back to the mines, so you can go back home? You can also lie down here too, if you’re not feeling well. We can get a bedroom ready for you.”

Lilith swallowed carefully, and nodded, rubbing a hand across her stomach.

“I think I’ll be fine, I just...will have to have something else to eat. Maybe later, when I get back to Hell.”

“Suit yourself. Let me get my car ready, and I can give you a ride back to the mines.” 

Lilith watched Zelda retreat back into the house, and eventually followed her, but not going past the living room. She stayed and looked through some of her clothing selections, and picked a few out to take back with her, so she would have something to change into before seeing Zelda on Monday. She looked around, clothing in hand, not sure what to do when Zelda reappeared, this time with a small suitcase in hand.

“Here. So you can carry your things easily.” 

Lilith carefully folded the clothes into the suitcase, and zipped it shut. Hilda came from the kitchen with a large brown paper bag in hand.

“I’m so sorry about earlier, love. I had no idea you weren’t fond of that dish...anyways, I’ve made you some sandwiches, and there is some fruit. Don’t let them sit out for too long, now. I know with the heat down there, they might turn bad quicker than they would up here.”

“Thank you.” Lilith replied, biting her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Hilda hugged her, giddy that she was becoming friends with the queen of Hell. Zelda rolled her eyes at her sister and went outside. Lilith was silent on the drive once more, only speaking when Zelda asked her a question or two. She felt so incredibly undeserving of all of the kindness that had been and still was being shown to her. In addition to the bad feelings, her stomach had started to do the fluttering thing again, when she thought about Zelda hugging her in the store earlier. She tried to think of something else, anything, really. She stole a glance at Zelda, face lit by the lights of the car console. 

_Zelda is really beautiful…_

Lilith gasped out loud as she realized what she just admitted to herself. Zelda looked over at her, and Lilith dropped her eyes down to the bag that was in her lap.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing, nothing. I was just thinking about...stuff.” Lilith tapped her fingers on the side of the door.

“Hm. Well, if you ever want to talk about ‘stuff’, know that I am always here, Lilith. I know I haven’t exactly been cordial to you in the past, but I do want us to be close. And not just because I’m your high priestess. I enjoy your company.”

Lilith’s heart was ready to beat right out of her chest, and she was glad it was dark out, or else Zelda would have seen the goofy grin plastered across her face.

“I enjoy your company too.”

When Zelda stopped the car in front of the mines, Lilith felt sad, like she didn’t want their time together to end. Zelda’s companionship had become a great comfort to her. She knew she would see Zelda and all of the Spellmans in a few days, and had no reason to be like this. And yet she still teared up as she watched Zelda pull away, the headlights temporarily blinding her as the car reversed. Lilith sighed, and said the words that would transfer her back to Hell. When she opened her eyes, she was standing in her too-warm bedroom, suitcase at her feet, bag of food in her hands. Her guards must’ve heard the sound of her moving around, because one called out for her. She reassured the faerie, and pulled off her dress and climbed into the bed. She looked into the bag from Hilda and laughed. for the witch had packed a few mortal magazines, ones that touted the latest celebrity gossip. Lilith pulled out the rest of the contents of the bag, the sandwiches, several whole, pieces of fruit, a bag of mixed nuts, and a few glass jars, filled with juice and milk. The jars were cold in her hands, and Lilith realized that Hilda had magicked the bag to keep her food cold. Lilith felt warmth wash over her at Hilda’s thoughtfulness. She looked into the bag again, and saw that there was a piece of paper. She reached in and pulled it out. When Lilith unfolded it, her eyes misted over as she read.

_Didn’t want you to go back home hungry! Take care of yourself!_

_-Hilda_

A few tears did escape from Lilith’s eyes, and she held her hands up to cover her face. This kindness was all so new to her, and it made her feel like she was on a roller coaster. Lilith dropped her hands down to her lap, and looked at the food spread out around her, as well as the magazines. She selected two of the magazines, and mindlessly flipped through as she nibbled at some of the sandwiches Hilda made. Lilith marveled at how much of the magazine was dedicated to who was dating who, how to tell if someone was “into you”, and other trivial things that were considered scandals.

_Mortals sure do worry about love a lot._

One of the magazines talked a lot about sex, and readers had written in with their personal stories. Lilith of course knew what sex was, had often used it as leverage in the past. But it was odd to read about people mentioning love and sex at the same time. Love was... _what is love like?_

She ate until she was stuffed, and put everything aside on her night stand. Lilith drank one of the jars of milk and laid down and willing sleep to come to her. She found herself staring at the ceiling, again, with a milk mustache drying on her upper lip. She couldn't spend another night tossing and turning. It was too exhausting.

_Maybe if I think of something calming, that will help me to sleep._

Lilith let her mind drift back to when she last felt the most at peace. It was then that she recalled Zelda’s arms around her earlier that day, and she fell fast asleep.

* * *

Lilith fidgeted with the necklace she wore as she sat in Zelda’s classroom. The students were a few years younger than Sabrina, and they all listened attentively to, taking notes. They seemed like a very mature, hard-working bunch. Lilith sat at the front of the class, off to the side. She was feeling nervous, and was scared to talk to the class, though she’d never admit it. 

_If I just focus on Zelda, then it won’t be so bad. Maybe I can do this._

She folded and unfolded her hands, and bit at her bottom lip. A small bead of blood came up where her teeth had dug in, and she licked it away, grateful her red lipstick could cover her bruised lips. The students started to talk amongst themselves, and Lilith heard the buzz of their voices in the background. She started to bite at the corner of her thumb, and saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked up and was met with Zelda, crouching down at the desk in front of her. She looked incredible, clad in a red number, pearls around her neck. She expected Zelda to just say a few words and go back to her students, but Zelda stayed where she was, checking in on her.

“Do you still want to do this? You don’t have to if you aren’t comfortable.” Zelda placed a gentle hand on Lilith’s forearm. “Just say the word and I can take you back to my office. It’s up to you.”

Lilith shook her head, heart hammering. 

“No. I can do this. I just need a moment.”

This was her chance to _finally_ tell someone her side of the story. Zelda was giving her a chance to be heard, judgment-free. She had to take it. Lilith stood up from the desk, and smoothed her hands over her dress. She had decided on a golden yellow dress, the color reminding her of the sunlight she so desperately missed in Hell. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, the curled ends cascading down her back. She moved to the podium in front of the class and shakily began to start talking. The students hushed each other and began to listen. She was nervous at first, but eventually began to feel more confident. Zelda kept her eyes on her the entire time, smiling encouragingly. Lilith looked at Zelda every so often, getting a confidence boost every time their eyes met. She tried to hold back her blushes when she talked about Zelda being the high priestess. Her reaction was lost on the students, but not on Zelda. By the time the bell rang, signalling the end of the class, the students applauded, not wanting Lilith to stop.

“Class, please be on time tomorrow. You won’t want to miss what Lilith has to say. And remember to do the assigned reading in your _Witching Histories_ book. There might be a pop quiz.” 

This drew a few groans out of some of the students. 

“Class dismissed.” 

The students filed out of the classroom, and some stayed behind to talk with Lilith. Lilith tried to answer as many questions as she could. Zelda had to remind the remaining students that they only had a few minutes to get to their next class, and that they could talk with Lilith if they came to class early tomorrow. Several students ran from the room, and Lilith laughed at the comical behavior of the children. She sat down on top of one of the desks and sighed. Things turned out better than she expected. Zelda was re-aligning some of the desks that got pushed out of line by rushing students. When she got to the front of the classroom, she gently laid her hand on Lilith’s shoulder.

“You’re a natural, y'know? The kids absolutely _adored_ you. You were fantastic.” Zelda rubbed Lilith’s shoulder, and she felt her stomach give an excited lurch as Zelda touched her again. She could feel her cheeks getting hotter the longer Zelda stood next to her.

_Is this...is this what love feels like?_

Later that evening, Lilith lay awake in the Spellman house, thinking about how Zelda was just a few feet away, a room over. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, turning over underneath the covers, and stared at the window. 

_Sometimes I wish I could live here, with Zelda. I wanted to be the queen of Hell for so long, the power, the title—and now I finally have it. But it feels like something is missing, and I keep feeling strange when Zelda is around. I am drawn to her and I don’t know why._

Lilith didn’t know how to explain it, but she felt better when she was with the Spellmans. She liked them. Sure, she was a deity and people prayed to her, but there was something about being treated like a normal person that made the Spellmans different, made them feel closer than just her devotees. Maybe she would have to start coming up to visit them more often. Besides, she would get to see Zelda, too. 

* * *

The first feast for the Church of Lilith was a grand affair. The Spellmans had spared no expense in turning their already fancy home into a lavish gathering, the entire coven present, young and old. Wine flowed freely, there were platters of rich food on every surface, and everyone enjoyed each others’ company. Zelda was the epitome of an ideal hostess and high priestess, and greeted everyone, floating from room to room with her cigarette holder in hand. Lilith had been feeling quite nervous about the whole thing. She knew of the event ahead of time, and had enough time to ready herself for the crowd, their noise, and their praise. But she didn’t expect her feelings for Zelda to be the thing that would put a damper on her evening. 

Lilith had made her rounds through their entire coven, her worshippers. She was exhausted by the time everyone had spoken with her, and she hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Zelda yet. Her crown was now in her hand, as it felt too heavy on her head. She had a smaller one made for her, more of a tiara, for when she attended coven gatherings or the church. She looked around and snuck into the kitchen, placing her crown down on the countertop. She peered around the corner to the dining room, and she saw Zelda, cigarette in hand, a glass of wine in the other. Lilith leaned back against the kitchen wall and closed her eyes. Zelda was so gorgeous, especially tonight. Lilith knew by now that she was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Zelda, and there was nothing she could do about it. She clenched her fists, and looked around the corner again at Zelda. 

“You really like her, don’t you?”

Hilda’s voice caused Lilith to jump and she covered her mouth just as she let out a small shout. Hilda rested a hand on Lilith’s back, the demoness now looking very nervous.

“You don’t have to be scared, Lilith. It’s okay.” 

Lilith opened her mouth, no sound coming out. She threw herself forward out of Hilda’s grasp and ran through the coven guests, breath coming in uneven gasps. She dodged out of the way of charcuterie boards, platters of fruit, piles of bread and cakes. Lilith stumbled over some shoes, and kept running, listing forward. She grabbed the doorknob and nearly crashed right into the front door, before turning the knob and running outside. She didn’t know Zelda had seen her flee from across the room, a frown on her face. 

Lilith was outside on the porch, up against the side of the house clutching at her rapidly beating chest. She tried to draw in some air, tried to not give into the panic, but it was no use. Her feelings were bubbling up and she felt like her chest was going to explode. She let out a sad whine, hand still over her heart. The front door opened and the noise of the party grew loud again. Lilith looked to her left, not sure who she was going to see. She saw a smoke cloud waft out a split second before Zelda came behind it.

_Please no, not right now, not when I’m like this_

Lilith leaned her head back against the wall again, and closed her eyes.

“There you are.” 

Lilith opened her eyes a sliver and looked at Zelda. The redhead dropped her cigarette to the ground and stamped it out.

“You aren't doing well, are you?” 

Zelda stood dangerously close to Lilith, and took one of her hands into her soft, pale hand. She held it up to her own chest and took a deep breath.

“Just breathe with me, Lilith, it’s okay.”

Lilith followed Zelda’s instructions, hand on fire where it rested on Zelda’s chest. She kept breathing with Zelda, and slowed her own breath down. She smiled appreciatively at Zelda, and wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek.

“Does this normally happen?”

“Sometimes...a lot of times. Usually when I am nervous about something, or scared.” Lilith’s eyes looked down, and she felt the familiar flutter again.

“Hm. Was the party too much? I can send everyone home.”

“No! No, it’s fine.” Lilith looked up at Zelda and then away again. 

“I love that you wore the red dress tonight. It was one of my favorites.” Zelda appreciatively looked Lilith up and down. “You look _marvelous_ in it.” 

Lilith felt her cheeks burning, and she thought _hey, at least I’ll match the dress now for sure._ A trace of a smile flitted across her face, and she almost giggled.

“Thank you Zelda. You look good too.”

Zelda reached up a hand to cup Lilith’s cheek, and it slid down to her chin.

“Thank you…” Zelda’s voice trailed off as she traced her thumb over Lilith’s mouth, eyes studying her face. She suddenly leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against Lilith’s mouth.

 _Oh..._ **_oh_ ** _._

Suddenly everything started to make sense in Lilith’s mind. 

_This feels right, oh so right, and good...mmmn..._

Her hands started to shake as she enjoyed the feeling of Zelda’s lips on her own. When Zelda pulled back Lilith was still leaning forward, her eyes closed and her lips in a slight pout. Lilith opened one, and then the other eye, and saw Zelda smiling at her. She opened and closed her mouth several times.

“I...I didn’t know I needed that…”

“I needed it too.” Zelda winked, and cupped Lilith’s face, thumb brushing over a dimpled cheek. Lilith felt her knees shake.

“But you...aren’t...I’m a demon, not even a real person...you’re my high priestess...I’m not worthy I’m—”

“Shh.” Zelda held up a finger to Lilith’s lips. “You _are_ worthy. And don’t worry about everything else. We’ll work it out.” Zelda traced her finger down Lilith’s Cupid’s bow and tapped her lips lightly before replacing her finger with her mouth. She gently pulled Lilith up against her, hands snaking around her back and waist. Lilith moaned into the kiss, and experimentally flicked her tongue out into Zelda’s mouth. It was gladly received, and she fell even deeper into the kiss. She was falling, Zelda the sun to her Icarus. She didn’t know how long they kissed for, but when she pulled back, everything had gone all hazy. She drew in some deep breaths and wiped off her mouth. 

“Zelda…” Lilith was speechless for a moment. “...that was...I want to do that with you every day.” She blurted out, instantly regretting it. Zelda cupped the back of her head, and smiled.

“I was starting to wonder when you’d say something. I’ve seen the way you look at me, Lilith.” Zelda brushed some hair behind one of Lilith’s gorgeous ears. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” Lilith’s eyes watered, and she looked everywhere but at Zelda’s face.

“Don’t be sorry. I think I have been falling for you for quite some time, now. I just didn’t want to scare you away, or make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh Zelda you never could make me feel that way! I love being around you! Just thinking about you helps me fall asleep at night, it calms me down when I’m scared! You are the best high priestess I could ever ask for. I never could repay you for your kindness, your hospitality—“

Zelda silenced Lilith with another kiss. She then pressed a kiss to Lilith’s forehead.

“There is nothing to repay, Lilith. You being yourself is payment enough.” Lilith suddenly squeezed Zelda in a bear hug, sending the air out of Zelda’s lungs.

 _“Lilith..._ it’s a bit...too...tight..” Zelda forced out with measured breath. Lilith loosened her arms immediately, and smiled sheepishly. 

“Oops.” 

“It’s okay. Just a little softer next time—there will be a next time, right?” Zelda tipped Lilith’s chin upright, searching her face in the porchlight.

“Yes, definitely.” 

“Hm. Perfect.” Zelda kissed Lilith near her ear, and whispered _you’re beautiful_. Lilith smiled, the fluttery feelings returned to her heart and stomach—only this time, they didn't make her nervous. Zelda took her hand, intertwining their fingers as she opened the front door of the house.

“Ready to go back in?” She looked back over her shoulder with a smile. 

“Yes.”


End file.
